“Just because 92% of paedos wear transition lenses it doesn’t mean 100% of transition lens wearers are paedos.” - Jimmy Rockspider (pseudonym)

“I know it looks like I have it all, but my life is dogshit”, said Career Counseller, Bob Carney.

“An ageing population is scary enough, but an ageing population driving high torque electric cars is an absolute nightmare.”

“It really is like a big country town”, said new Norwood resident Tameika Schenn.

“We will do everything in our power to catch whoever did this”, said McLaren F1 Boss Zak Brown.