Bride-To-Be Upstaged At Rehearsal Dinner As “That Bridesmaid” Orders Fajitas

Drama unfolded at the wedding rehearsal dinner of Bella and Mark this week when the most infamous Bridesmaid, Sarsha, stole the show by ordering a sizzling hot plate of fajitas. 

Orchestrated to perfection, Sarsha had sent the first plate back so the chef could  “remove the rest of the gluten”, meaning the hot plate of loudly sizzling fajitas was redelivered right as the happy couple were making their thank you speech. Drowned out by the aggressive sizzling, Bella had to pause mid-speech and wait for a full minute as Sarsha held court trying to act as candidly happy and low-key embarrassed as possible.

Feeding on the attention much like a Dementor sucking happiness from hapless victims, Sarsha lapped up every single millisecond, something that has been a consistent pattern of behaviour according to Bella. “Don’t get me started on this bitch, seriously”, explained the bride-to-be, “She’s a bridesmaid because I didn’t really have a choice, she’s my fiance’s sister and she’s a piece of work.” “I’d warned a few people about her in the lead up to the Hen’s Party and they thought I was exaggerating until she started yelling at a waiter about the table being too close to an air conditioning duct. Like, just put your jacket on.” “And then she’d be sickly sweet while judgementally eyeballing your outfit and body. She was prolific on insta that day too, but none of my actual friends remember even having a conversation with her, she was just parading around taking selfies for content.” “So yeah, when she tried to steal the spotlight in the middle of our speech I was not at all surprised. What I was surprised by though, was seeing fajitas because it was in an old English-style pub, so I have no idea how she swung that.”

“Always have to be the centre of attention, don’t ya bitch. Haha ah well, she’s family now”, Bella said as the stark realisation settled in and the smile on her face dissolved, “...fuck my life.”

More to come. RUTH HOOVER - Lifestyle