Woman On Date Suffers The Worst Known Case of “The Ick” As Adult Man Orders “Pascetti”

History has been made this week as Heather Bews, 28, suffered the worst known case of “The Ick” when their date, a fully grown adult man, decided to order “pascetti”. “The Ick”, a sudden and intense feeling of disgust that makes you lose all romantic and sexual attraction to someone, is not something Heather was expecting after spending multiple hours getting ready and deliberating over her outfit.

“What a huge waste of time”, Heather complained, “I even shaved, and for what?”

Still processing the experience, Heather remarked, “I’m sure we’ve all thought the word ‘pascetti’ occasionally, but to say it out loud on a date at an audible volume to another adult in a crowded restaurant… that to me, and especially to my vagina, is unforgivable.” “He was so calm and confident when he said it too, you could tell it wasn’t a simple mistake, he was being his truest self.”

“Saying ‘pascetti’ was bad enough but I swear he somehow butchered the word ‘bolognese’ as well, he was like ‘one pascetti bogolase pwease’ and I almost spewed out my uterus.” Despite suffering severe visceral symptoms of acute “Romantic Repulsion Syndrome”, Heather stuck it out for a time, “I really tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and hung around but the damage was already done. And him saying ‘yummy’ after every bite of his dinner roll did not help at all.” “I kept a brave face and tried to be polite because you just never know what someone’s going through, but he clearly didn’t notice what I was going through either because he kept calling the waiter ‘chief’ and that really chafes my labia.”

The final straw for Heather came shortly after the bread course. “When he said he needed the ‘little boys room’ I just stood up and walked out.” “I still haven’t gone back for my coat and handbag.” 

Asked whether she’d be getting back on the dating horse any time soon, Heather was despondent. “Honestly, that night I lost my lady boner so bad I just don’t know if I’ll ever find it again.”

More to come. RUTH HOOVER - Lifestyle