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Melbourne Trick-Or-Treaters Warned To Be Vigilant As Machetes Found Hidden Inside Gummy Burgers
- Draven Honk
- 3 days ago
- 2 min read
Victoria Police have issued a warning to trick-or-treaters in the Greater Melbourne area to be extra vigilant this Halloween as machetes have been found hidden inside gummy burgers. The warning comes off the back of a series of raids on high profile criminal organisations that found evidence of Halloween lollies being packed with the prohibited weapons.
“Raids conducted earlier this week have confirmed suspicions of Halloween lolly tampering with the intent to cause bodily harm”, said Victoria Police spokesperson, Nathan Leckie. “As such, we are issuing a warning to those who celebrate Halloween in the usual way to be extra thorough in your inspection of any lollies you, or dependents in your care, may acquire in the process of trick-or-treating.” Asked why the offenders chose gummy burgers instead of other types of ‘Halloween candy’, Nathan Leckie took his glasses off and asserted, “Don’t you dare say the c-bomb in my presence. Here in Australia, we say ‘lollies’ and I will not tolerate such treasonous behaviour. It’s bad enough Halloween has taken off here, I’m still swallowing that pill… just don’t say the c-word.” Nathan took a few deep breaths and put his glasses back on the end of his nose before responding to the actual question.
“We believe the perpetrators have targeted gummy burgers because it’s easier to hide the weapons between the layers and they’re quite popular. They are widely enjoyed by both children and adults. I, myself, like them for the novelty they provide, in moderation. Gummy burgers look like regular burgers at first glance but are a lot smaller and taste sweet.”
“These are clearly intelligent criminals who know their confectionery. Our evidence showed the perps had also experimented with Snakes, Caramello Koalas, and Violet Crumbles, but were ultimately unsuccessful.”
Victoria Police made numerous arrests during the raids and are reassuring the public that there is ‘zero tolerance’ for this kind of behaviour.
“All twenty-three of the individuals arrested, including the minors, will be charged with serious offences, and we will be pushing for the death penalty across the board”, Nathan remarked.
“To parents, be vigilant, it’s always worth checking if you’re unsure. If you do find a machete, please bring it to one of our Machete Safe Disposal Bins. And if you or your child do accidentally swallow a machete, just stay calm, sit down and call Triple Zero. Don’t be a hero and try to pull it back out, just sit tight.”
More to come
DRAVEN HONK - Editor
