Too Many Familiar Faces At Adelaide Orgy To Really Go For It

“It really is like a big country town”, said new Norwood resident Tameika Schenn.

One of Adelaide’s newest residents, Tameika Schenn, 42, has learnt a valuable lesson this week as she attended her first local orgy and recognised far too many people from daily life to really get stuck in.

Having moved to the ‘City of Churches’ from Sydney four months ago, Tameika was eagerly dipping-the-toe into the local swinging scene when a room full of familiar faces in various states of undress and exposing positions brought the reality of living in Adelaide into sharp relief. “It really is like a big country town”, Tameika remarked, “I’ve only been living here a few months so I don’t know many people, but I swear every single one of them was there.”

“My pilates instructor met me at the door, the barista at my local cafe took my coat and then led me to the loungeroom where I was met by the sight of my postman winking at me.” “He’d come straight from work and still had his uniform on, so he wasn’t trying to remain anonymous by any means. At least I hope that’s why he was wearing it, he kept his helmet on for ages though...”

Tameika isn’t one to feel self-conscious and was surprised it affected her enjoyment of the evening. “I tried my best but I just couldn’t get in a rhythm”, she remarked, “It’s not like me at all, but that night I learnt that it’s harder to relax when you know you’ll see half of them the next day.” “I also learnt that my Great Aunt Patsi lives in Adelaide and is very open-minded for an 83-year-old, so that’s interesting.”

“I’d only been there fifteen minutes but seeing her seemed like my final cue to leave, so I covered myself in lube and slid silently out the back of the pack like a hockey puck.”

“Which was a shame because the spread they put on was absolutely delicious”, Tameika lamented, “There was so much fresh local produce and I love a bold shiraz, so honestly, if they keep catering like that I’ll just have to suck it up and see you at the next one.”

More to come.

RUTH HOOVER - Lifestyle