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Masked Intruder Seen Sneaking Bricks Into Oscar Piastri’s Garage After Singapore Grand Prix
“We will do everything in our power to catch whoever did this”, said McLaren F1 Boss Zak Brown.
2 min read
Melbourne Trick-Or-Treaters Warned To Be Vigilant As Machetes Found Hidden Inside Gummy Burgers
”We recommend looking between each layer of the burger lollies for any traces of a machete”, said Victoria Police spokesperson, Nathan Leckie.
2 min read
Survey Finds 100% Correlation Between Making Chatterboxes At School And Becoming A ‘Girlboss’
“No one’s surprised”, said Paediatric Business Psychologist, Jill Fantano.
2 min read
Promising New Form of Shock Therapy Just Abrupt Exposure To Doctor’s Bare-Naked Knees
"There are just some knees you should never see."
2 min read
A Win For Freaks Everywhere As The Tawny Frogmouth Crowned 2025 ‘Bird Of The Year’
“If this uggo can win Bird Of The Year, there’s hope for all of us.”
2 min read
Bride-To-Be Upstaged At Rehearsal Dinner As “That Bridesmaid” Orders Fajitas
“Always have to be the centre of attention, don’t ya bitch.”
2 min read
AFP Audit Finds That Most Outlaw Bikie Gangs Are Exclusively Undercover Cops
“Yeah that’s our bad, soz about that”, said AFP Spokesperson, Tazen Cuff.
2 min read
Newest Ginger Beer Just A Giant Angry Ginger Root That Jumps Out Of The Can And Slaps You Unconscious
“Ahhhh… now that’s good ginger beer”, said self proclaimed “Ginger-nut” Mike Zingini.
2 min read
Magical Squeeze of Lime Transforms White Person’s Homemade Tacos Into Authentic Mexican Cuisine
“Minced beef, mild salsa, cheese, sour cream and a squeeze of lime just like they do in ME-HI-CO”, said local food enthusiast, Ben Lollar.
2 min read
Woman On Date Suffers The Worst Known Case of “The Ick” As Adult Man Orders “Pascetti”
“I almost spewed out my uterus”, said Heather, 28.
2 min read
Visibility For Snoop Dogg’s Grand Final Performance Impacted by Very Localised “Weather Event”
"It was crook as", Jane Bunn, 'Queen of Meteorology'.
2 min read
Horace’s Haikus
Editor's Note: Not Horace's strongest work but he's grieving the loss of his pet crab Clacker.
1 min read
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