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Man Denied ‘Working With Children Check’ On The Basis Of Transition Lenses
“Just because 92% of paedos wear transition lenses it doesn’t mean 100% of transition lens wearers are paedos.” - Jimmy Rockspider (pseudonym)
2 min read
Career Counsellor Never Seems To Recommend Pursuing Career Counselling
“I know it looks like I have it all, but my life is dogshit”, said Career Counseller, Bob Carney.
2 min read
Rich Geriatrics Buying Electric Cars Can’t Control Their Own Sphincters Let Alone A Car Capable Of 0-100kmh in 3 Seconds Flat
“An ageing population is scary enough, but an ageing population driving high torque electric cars is an absolute nightmare.”
2 min read
Too Many Familiar Faces At Adelaide Orgy To Really Go For It
“It really is like a big country town”, said new Norwood resident Tameika Schenn.
2 min read
Masked Intruder Seen Sneaking Bricks Into Oscar Piastri’s Garage After Singapore Grand Prix
“We will do everything in our power to catch whoever did this”, said McLaren F1 Boss Zak Brown.
2 min read
Melbourne Trick-Or-Treaters Warned To Be Vigilant As Machetes Found Hidden Inside Gummy Burgers
”We recommend looking between each layer of the burger lollies for any traces of a machete”, said Victoria Police spokesperson, Nathan Leckie.
2 min read
Survey Finds 100% Correlation Between Making Chatterboxes At School And Becoming A ‘Girlboss’
“No one’s surprised”, said Paediatric Business Psychologist, Jill Fantano.
2 min read
Promising New Form of Shock Therapy Just Abrupt Exposure To Doctor’s Bare-Naked Knees
"There are just some knees you should never see."
2 min read
A Win For Freaks Everywhere As The Tawny Frogmouth Crowned 2025 ‘Bird Of The Year’
“If this uggo can win Bird Of The Year, there’s hope for all of us.”
2 min read
Bride-To-Be Upstaged At Rehearsal Dinner As “That Bridesmaid” Orders Fajitas
“Always have to be the centre of attention, don’t ya bitch.”
2 min read
AFP Audit Finds That Most Outlaw Bikie Gangs Are Exclusively Undercover Cops
“Yeah that’s our bad, soz about that”, said AFP Spokesperson, Tazen Cuff.
2 min read
Newest Ginger Beer Just A Giant Angry Ginger Root That Jumps Out Of The Can And Slaps You Unconscious
“Ahhhh… now that’s good ginger beer”, said self proclaimed “Ginger-nut” Mike Zingini.
2 min read
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