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Melbourne Trick-Or-Treaters Warned To Be Vigilant As Machetes Found Hidden Inside Gummy Burgers
”We recommend looking between each layer of the burger lollies for any traces of a machete”, said Victoria Police spokesperson, Nathan Leckie.
2 min read
Survey Finds 100% Correlation Between Making Chatterboxes At School And Becoming A ‘Girlboss’
“No one’s surprised”, said Paediatric Business Psychologist, Jill Fantano.
2 min read
Bride-To-Be Upstaged At Rehearsal Dinner As “That Bridesmaid” Orders Fajitas
“Always have to be the centre of attention, don’t ya bitch.”
2 min read
AFP Audit Finds That Most Outlaw Bikie Gangs Are Exclusively Undercover Cops
“Yeah that’s our bad, soz about that”, said AFP Spokesperson, Tazen Cuff.
2 min read
Magical Squeeze of Lime Transforms White Person’s Homemade Tacos Into Authentic Mexican Cuisine
“Minced beef, mild salsa, cheese, sour cream and a squeeze of lime just like they do in ME-HI-CO”, said local food enthusiast, Ben Lollar.
2 min read
Woman On Date Suffers The Worst Known Case of “The Ick” As Adult Man Orders “Pascetti”
“I almost spewed out my uterus”, said Heather, 28.
2 min read
MCG Grand Final Turf To Get Final Tick of Approval From World-Renowned Grass Consultant
“He says he’s the best in the bizzle”, said AFL CEO Andrew Dillon.
2 min read
Zak Brown Caught By Wife Sticky-taping Lando Norris’s Face Onto Wedding Photos
“Again? Seriously Zak, it’s not healthy”, she said.
2 min read
Owner of New Veneers Learns the Hard Way To Never Go As White As The Dentist Recommends
“9 out of 10 dentists are taking the absolute piss honestly”, Craig complained.
2 min read
Old School Grandpa Seen Crying For The First Time Ever Thanks To Bluey Episode About Cricket
"Now that's what cricket’s about”, he muttered through tears.
2 min read
Relentless Arm Grazes from Barber’s Flaccid Cock Savvily Rebranded as Complementary Massage
“It’s just like Reiki, only it’s delivered by my supple hog”, he said.
2 min read
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